Do's & Don'ts for Romantic Gestures on Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day brings chocolates, cards, and flowers — gestures that everyone can appreciate from their loved one. But in the workplace, those gestures can cross a line faster than you think. What one employee would consider a sweet holiday tradition, another may experience an unwanted scenario of harassment, or a violation of their personal space. Understanding where that line falls is essential for every worker, as well as every employer.

What Counts as Sexual Harassment in the Office?

According to the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), sexual harassment in the workplace is a form of sex discrimination that includes unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature that affects an individual’s employment or creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive work environment. Enduring such violations can make an individual fear for their job security and the impact on their family.

There are two primary legal categories to know:

• Quid pro quo harassment occurs when a supervisor or person in authority conditions job benefits — a promotion, raise, or favorable assignment — on an employee’s acceptance of romantic or sexual advances.
• Hostile work environment harassment occurs when unwelcome conduct based on sex or sexual orientation is so severe or pervasive that it alters the conditions of employment.

Both forms of harassment in the office are prohibited under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act, and under the New York State Human Rights Law, protections extend even further — covering all employers regardless of size. The New York State and New York City Human Rights Laws apply to companies with four or more employees, while Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 covers employers with 15 or more employees.

Can a Valentine’s Day Gesture Get You in Legal Trouble?

Yes — it can. Sending a Valentine’s card, making repeated romantic comments, touching a coworker without consent, or engaging in public displays of affection in the office can all contribute to a hostile work environment claim, particularly if the behavior is unwanted, turned down and repeated.

“Can you sue a coworker for giving you a Valentine?”

A single card is unlikely to constitute actionable harassment on its own. However, if it is part of a pattern of unwanted attention, behavior reminiscent of stalking, or conduct that causes significant discomfort, it can form part of a valid legal claim. The totality of the conduct — not just one incident — is what courts and investigators examine.

New York’s Expanded Protections: The NY Survivors Act

Under New York law, survivors of sexual misconduct have additional avenues for recourse. The NY Adult Survivors Act temporarily reopened the statute of limitations for adult survivors of sexual offenses, demonstrating New York’s commitment to accountability. Signed in May of 2022 by Governor Kathy Hochul, the law creates a one-year lookback window for survivors of sexual assault that occurred when they were over the age of 18 to sue their abusers, regardless of when the abuse transpired. If you believe you have experienced sexual discrimination or assault in or outside the workplace, consulting a sexual harassment lawyer is a critical first step.

What Should You Do If a Coworker Harasses You?

If a coworker disrupts your personal space or makes you feel uncomfortable, take these steps:

• Document everything. Record dates, times, witnesses, and a description of each incident.
• Report internally. File a complaint with HR or your supervisor, as required by most employer anti-harassment policies.
• File an external claim. You may file a charge with the EEOC or the New York State Division of Human Rights. There are strict time limits for filing a sexual harassment claim.

Consult an attorney. An experienced sexual harassment lawyer can assess your options and protect your rights.

The Bottom Line for Valentines Day

This Valentine’s Day, keep gestures in the office professional, and always consider whether your actions are truly welcome. If you have experienced sexual harassment, sexual orientation discrimination, or any form of sexual discrimination at work, you don’t have to navigate it alone.

Call a New York Employment Law Attorney Now

We at Filippatos PLLC stand in proud solidarity with any and all workers facing discrimination in the workplace, including the LGBTQIA+ community and diverse communities. We believe that all people deserve the right to exist freely, no matter who they love, how they express their gender, practice their religion, or celebrate their heritage. If you are experiencing discrimination at work, please give us a call at 888-9-JOBLAW for a free consultation. We will do our utmost to help secure you the justice you deserve.